Musings @ the Reference Desk

Why is it when a reader wants a book that's checked out, they are happy to put their name on the list for whenever it comes in, but when a computer user has to wait for a computer they go ballistic?

And why do they sit & stare into space rather than pick up a magazine or newspaper to read while waiting for the next available computer?

Why do people doing genealogical research feel compelled to tell you EVERYTHING about their family tree? And why does no one ever come up to the desk when I'm held hostage by a genealogist?

Why can't people just ask a straightforward question instead of skirting around the issue?

Why did the minister who called in with a reference question treat me like a minion who wasn't worthy to pick up the crumbs from under his table--even when I called back with more information for him after discovering he hadn't given me the correct name of the author in the first place?

When is the good-looking, erudite, wealthy man going to come up to the desk & be wowed with my book knowledge & ask me out to dinner? (so far my only offer has come from a 70-something one-legged man. Really.)

Library vs. Discount Store

Why do so many people come in to the library expecting us to supply them with their every need? I'm not talking about their informational and reading needs here but every office store item under the sun.

"Do you have a pencil?" OK--that one I can understand. Even scratch paper. But resume paper? Stapler? Tape? Paper clips? Highlighters? Calculator? Stamps? Do they think libraries get all the office supplies they need for free? And do they ever say "thank you" or offer to pay for them?

But the kicker came today. Yes, there's a plant that looks like it's on its last leg but I plan on trying to revive it--just haven't had the time to re-pot it yet. So, the ever-so-polite (but irritating as hell) woman points out to me "do you know this plant is dying?"

"Yes".

"Can I have it?"

"No".

She ambled off, but came back later to have half a magazine copied. And, of course, reached for the stapler to keep all the pages together. And complained when the stapler didn't perform as well as she wanted.

Fortunately, I kept myself from screaming at the top of my lungs. But I do wonder--why don't people who can discern the difference between a library and Office Max ever come up to the reference desk?

Chimerae

Her: I need to know about, I'm not sure what it is exactly, but someone told me about this program they're doing out in Wyoming where they're trying to breed beef cows with deer. See there's been a lot of draft (I assume she meant drought-I.B.) there so they don't have enough hay. So if they combine the deer with the beef cattle, they won't need as much hay to produce the same beef.

Me: I'm not really sure about that (as I'm powering on the computer, because she asked this as I was removing my coat while we opened -- my fault though, it was, like, two minutes after nine already.) I'm positive that a cow and a moose can't interbreed (don't look at me like that, think back, you remember the cow and moose couple all over the news several years back. That poor, infertile couple. That's gotta be hard.) I'd imagine cow and deer would be about the same situation, but let me see what I can find.

Her: Yeah, 'cause you see, the mule deer, they're pretty big. And deer don't eat much hay.

Me: (Attempting various search strings, all essentially meaning cow/deer chimera, but saving that for when I inevitably don't find anything.) I would think that to get the same amount of beef, they'd have to get the deer to normal cow size, and then the creatures would need as much hay as a regular cow. (This is my downfall, I'm already aware. I engage in conversations that I know I shouldn't, and am therefore the sounding board for every conspiracy theorist who wanders into the library. I need to learn to type with my mouth closed.)

Her: ...but the mule deer are big.

Me: ...

Her: I'm going to go do some research back here. (Points to either periodicals or computer lab, I wasn't sure which.)

This was one hour ago and I haven't seen her again, so I assume it was the lab.

In the Beginning

Non-librarians frequently look at me in disbelief when I relate stories about typical patron-librarian transactions in a typical day at the public library. "You've got to be making that up!", "That didn't really happen, did it?", or "Urban legend" are the usual responses.

But yes, people, we can't make up this stuff. No one's imagination is that fertile (well, with the possible exception of Robin Williams). We've often said we could write a long-running sitcom but no one would take the plots seriously. Because, really, would you believe a woman asking why her doctor wants her to have a "mammelgram"? Or the mother who wanted a video of Abraham Lincoln giving the Gettysburg Address for her son's school project and could not understand why we didn't have a copy of something that is non-existent?

So, the stories you read on this are true. Only the names and location have been changed to protect the innocent (which would be ourselves). And if you find yourselves doubting the veracity of what you read here I suggest you take a look at other reference/information/adult services librarian blogs (our personal favorite is http://lovetheliberry.blogspot.com/)

In the beginning was the word...and we get the last one, too.