Library Hieroglyphics

Notes found in the stacks:

Hyena-men
or
Jackal-head wizard

and

COULD YOU HEAR ME
THINKING I SHOULD
STOP?

Any connection? You be the judge.

Full Moon Fall Out

The full moon was three days ago but apparently our patrons aren't aware that it's now waning.

My top couple of the day--he wanted book of tattoo designs, she was looking for books on teen pregnancy.

What a winning combination!

Librarian Man Column

There are times when I either have nothing to relate or have no time to regale readers with our many tales of terror. Today is a little of both. But, fortunately, my email contained this little tidbit of informational humor (or would than be humorous information?) from the Modesto Bee:

http://www.modbee.com:80/opinion/community/story/118769.html

Halloween Hauntings

As holidays go, Halloween day is usually quiet. Apparently, not many people think of going to the library to celebrate All Hallows Eve. Which is fine with me, since we get some unique costumes on regular days.

So other than the director showing up in a get-up that he thought was wizardish--we knew that because he wore a sign stating he was the "Exalted Wizard of the Library"--it was slow going. Until the the androgynous individual showed up at the OPAC.

From a distance, we couldn't tell what gender. Think Joel Gray in "Cabaret". But with more eye makeup. But upon making myself available to help I discovered that it was female & she wanted "a picture of my grandpa, Jesse James" because her copy disappeared when she "lost" her house.

Now, this female was maybe in her late twenties, early thirties. Much too young to be a grand-daughter of Jesse, unless you threw in a few greats. When we--well, by that I mean I--discovered that our Jesse James books were all checked out I suggested she look online for a photo. "Oh no, I hate computers & they hate me".

OK--then perhaps we could put some books on reserve for her.

"No, I have to go to court so I'll check later."

Now, that would have been a fun case to observe but then I got to thinking. Never seen this person before, comes in wanting photos of "granpa Jesse", pale skin, dressed in black, computer phobic, & it's Halloween. Could she be an apparition who only appears in libraries every October 31st searching for her ancestors?

That would be the best of our world. Which means that I have no doubt that she is flesh & blood (& eyeliner) and will return. Sooner than later. And probably when I'm working alone....

"CAb RANgooN"

Until now I've only heard stories about her, especially the way she smells (one staff member saw her using the Lysol spray behind the desk to "freshen up"). The book discussion had just wrapped up and I was about to enjoy some cake and coffee leftovers when she crests the stairs.

She's wearing gray sweats, not clean. And she smells worse than dead animals.

She hands me a note: "CAb RANgooN".

I wish I could relate what she said word for word but I didn't understand most of it. When she speaks it sounds like someone gargling mouth wash- though I'm sure she's never done any such thing.

She's looking for a recipe, a VERY specific recipe of Crab Rangoon. She leans over the desk to see the results of my search. I instinctively lean away as she continues to wetly babble about what she wants. She actually spits on the innocent slice of cake between us.

At this point I'm pretty sure this recipe doesn't exist and I'm starting to marvel at how refined her taste for Crab Rangoon is while she obviously can't smell herself. At this point she is getting frustrated too, so she decides to just show me what she is looking for. Literally

I can't hide the look of horror on my face as she pulls out of her pockets three crumpled Crab Rangoons and holds them out to me in grubby hands. I throw up in my mouth and manage a "This is all we have, I'm sorry" while gesturing toward the cookbooks. Finally she too resigns and starts thumbing through our selection. I back away to the desk, toss the cake and dump out the coffee. I won't be eating Chinese ever again.

Must Be the Full Moon

If it's not the full (or almost full) moon, then why...

...does the mother and grandmother who sit in the computer lab let the pre-school boy in their charge run barefoot back & forth to the unsupervised men's room?

...does the man speak loudly on his cell phone as he converses about his financial difficulties?

...are there myriads of unsupervised children running amok every afternoon after school who can't recall how to behave from day to day, forcing us to tell them over & over what they can and cannot do while in the library?

...do adolescents use the card catalog computers to access their Facebook accounts after being told they need to use the computers in the YA space? Why do they even have a Facebook account?

...does the almost creepy old guy have to call me honey?

Maybe the lunar eclipse will negate more full moon behaviors.

Question of the Day

Message left on voice mail:

I'm looking for the book "Eat a Cat" by Emily Post.

He actually needed an etiquette book by said author.

Too bad we couldn't get a pronunciation guide for him, too.